I'd like to say thank you to Heather from Inspiring Mums for sharing this very important and very personal blog post with us.  

Hi, thanks so much for your patience while I get this post to you, I know you have been waiting and I really appreciate it :)
So, as you may have seen already, I posted this status update on Facebook this morning and I want to explain what it was about. More so however, I wanted to share this with you to help you and your family when it comes to alcohol in the home. I think it is an important topic to discuss...

{ Inspiring Quote } "Don't worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright." Bob Marley Photo: Heather James, Inspiring Mums® Location: Mornington Peninsula Beach Huts

{ Inspiring Quote } "Don't worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright." Bob Marley Photo: Heather James, Inspiring Mums® Location: Mornington Peninsula Beach Huts

It will be alright... BUT what I want to say for you and your family is this... I grew up with an alcoholic father and it has costs associated that don't just impact the family grocery bill. It impacts the emotional, energy and physical parts of the family dynamic.

I will share what I have noticed to help you identify changes in those in your family who drink:

Increased emotional behaviour including anger and sadness (depression), short temper, easily frustrated.
Physical changes, bloating or distended belly, red blotchy skin, more tired looking, lethargy, general feeling of unwell, increased appetite (binging) or even the opposite a major decrease in meals.
Dependence on drinking to relax, feel better or wind down.
Lack of motivation to do anything
Anxiety, panic attacks, confusion and irrational thinking (paranoia)
Withdrawing from family fun, activity, discussions, play, routine
Reduced or lack of support around the home
Blaming others for things in life in general (ie. my dad used to blame us for him being single)
Please know, these are my own observations, I am not a doctor, or a specialist in this field, please understand I am in a home with someone who drinks and lived with an alcoholic and I guess that's the best study you can have, first hand experience.

And The Happy Ending Is...

So the outcomes of this happening are in fact very positive, in my view. Hubby is going to give up drinking, which will really help him in so many ways and US as a family of course.

We will save money on the expense of it!

He will reduce is anxiety levels so he can function better in every situation he's in, especially his new role.

We will have an improved home life, we won't be walking on eggshells or wondering if we are upsetting the applecart by just turning something off a different way.

We will have more open communication about how we feel, what's on our mind and there won't be this "elephant" in the room called "alcohol" we won't be skirting around the topic!

At the end of the day, as the heading suggests, alcohol and families are a recipe for disaster because it puts a barrier between reality and the blurred reality created by alcohol. It unsettles the household, it gets put first, it can create physical and mental pain, not just on the person in charge of the drinking but on those around.

And there's what the kids see... they see and learn the behaviour, the words, the actions, the reactions, the fear, the anxiety, the pain and worry. Is it worth it?

Remember, I did say I'm not against alcohol and I'm not, on its own it's fine, it's when it gets put into the hands of someone that has already lost the ability to make responsible decisions about using it. It's addictive and destructive in the hands of those who abuse it, then abuse others.

While my example of being upset may seem minor, I am glad because it means there was no domestic violence, no physical pain inflicted to recover from and there was an apology in the end. Today, we have been happy family again, walking, talking and having fun, as we usually do.

I really believe when Bob Marley says every little thing is gonna be alright, it's gonna be allllright.

And that's how the Inspiring family overcome hurdles like this. No one is perfect, certainly not me, not my hubby, not anyone I know. While I feel extremely vulnerable sharing this post with you, I know that it is an important topic to cover for you, for me and for those you know.

I am so glad I managed to get this post done, and apologies for being so late and long winded, but I do hope you get the message here in that alcohol is fine, in moderation, in celebration, used with responsibility and respect for others in mind. When it's abused, it's not the abuser that is only hurt, it's others as well maybe your family.

It's time for me to snuggle my man, whom I am very proud of for "manning up" this morning, by identifying his weakness, knowing how to improve it and being able to verbalise that to me because he loves me and respects our family. Now he perfect ;) just kidding. I wish more men were like this. It's important to know when you are wrong or where you need to improve... I am sure he has a list on me somewhere stashed away! LOL

Thanks for visiting and I hope you have found this enlightening, helpful and real!

Nightie night!

xx Heather

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